If you grew up with a toxic parent, chances are you didn’t think of your parents as toxic during your childhood. You thought everything was normal until you started seeing how other people interacted with their parents.
Things you never thought you could do are seemingly easy for your friends, and when you compare stories, things in your life look very different from those around you. Toxic parents come in many shapes and sizes. Some are much worse than others, but all are dangerous. That being said, now, as an adult, if you look back trying to determine if what you faced growing up was truly toxic or not, you might want to consider the things you don’t remember.
Below I will go over the things that you probably did not experience as a child as most people did or would have. The absence of these things could indicate that you were raised by someone very toxic. While you’ll need to do more research to find out the rest, this could put you on the right track.
10 things you won’t remember experiencing if you had toxic parents:
You don’t remember being able to feel comfortable and safe at home.
Growing up, you were always on edge when you were at home, or at least when you were at your parents’ house. You would much rather be alone in the house or not at home to begin with. You were always nervous about who you were going to find at home and what your parents’ mood would be.
You don’t remember being able to come to your parents with your problems.
When you had a problem, you couldn’t just ask your parents for advice. You were unable to talk to them properly and this affected you greatly. Because of this, you tend to bottle up your emotions, even today.
You don’t remember having a real sense of intimacy growing up.
When you were younger, your parents would go through all your stuff. They would check your phone, read your diary, and more. You were not able to be your own person, that’s for sure.
You don’t remember being heard properly by your parents.
Your parents never listened to you. When you had something to share, you were unable to do so. They accepted what they wanted to believe, nothing more and nothing less.
You don’t remember being able to do the things you wanted to do.
When you were a kid, you didn’t often, if ever, get to do what you wanted to do. You had to do what your parents wanted and that was pretty much it. You were treated as an extension of your parents rather than your own being.
You can’t think of a time when your parents apologized for something they did to you.
Your parents hurt you a lot and got you all worked up at times, but they never said they felt bad or apologized. They never thought you deserved an apology and, therefore, you never got one. Although you may have wanted to, you always knew that it wasn’t a realistic idea for them.
You don’t remember being able to express yourself properly.
You were never able to be free and express yourself growing up. You had to be what your parents wanted you to be and that was it. If they wanted you to dress a certain way and do certain things, you had to do it.
You don’t remember being able to invite friends over to the house.
Your parents tended to leave you pretty isolated. You couldn’t go out much or invite friends at all. You were always stuck.
You don’t remember being complimented by your parents.
Your parents never complimented you or encouraged you. They were always criticizing you and putting you down. The more you did, the less they saw your accomplishments.
You can’t remember a time when you really had everything you needed.
You never felt like you were well taken care of. Your parents were always doing and saying things that made it seem like their needs mattered more than yours. You always fell through the cracks
