As parents, we don’t always know what we are doing. We sometimes make mistakes, which is inevitable.
When it comes to making the most of your time with your children, you need to make sure that the things you do won’t hurt them in the long run. Sure, something may seem harmless now, but as your kids grow up, there are things that can hold them back as they become adults. If you want your children to grow into properly functioning adults, you need to get rid of toxic behaviors early on.
Below I will go over some of the things that we parents don’t realize can have a lasting impact on our offspring. Of course, some of these things may not seem very interesting, but it’s important to be aware of them. If you want your children to grow into adults who can stand on their own two feet, you need to eliminate the toxic elements as soon as possible.
11 Toxic Things We Tend to Do as Parents That Can Hold Our Kids Back in Their Adult Life:
Only praise your children when they have done something very “big”.
When your children do their best, they deserve to be praised. Sure, they may not have gotten the best grade possible, but coming home with a B is still a good thing. As parents, we need to praise our children, whether they do more than most or not.
Force your children to be like you.
Even if your children are like you in some ways, they won’t be miniature versions of you, sorry. Stop trying to make your children into something they are not. Sure, they may have similar interests to you, but you can’t live your life through them.
Don’t give your children the time of day.
Your children need attention. If you ignore them and pretend they are not there, you are neglecting them. They need you to be there for them.
Acting like nothing your children do is ever good enough.
Your children are people like you and me. They won’t always be perfect. As long as they are doing their best, that should be good enough in your eyes, period.
Don’t let your children make decisions for themselves.
Your children may not need to be free yet, but they still need to be able to decide things for themselves. The more control you give them over their lives, within reason, the better things will go as they grow up. They don’t need to feel smothered all the time.
Refuse to let your children feel pain or negative emotions.
Your children will have ups and downs. They will experience negative emotions and you need to allow them to feel those emotions. Don’t tell them to stop whining or force them to feel better in any way, let them feel pain from time to time, it’s not always bad.
Expect your children to be perfect, all the time.
Your children will not be perfect, they will make mistakes, just like you. No one on this planet is perfect, sorry. While you can expect a lot from your children, there has to be a limit.
Embarrass your children over and over again.
You may enjoy embarrassing your child, but the more you do it, the more they won’t like you. It really tears a person apart and if they have already told you that it bothers them, why do you keep doing it? Do you really not care about the relationship you have with your child?
Have your children essentially “parent” and take care of you.
Your children are not supposed to grow up so fast. They shouldn’t have to take care of you, you should be taking care of them. I know parenting is hard and you may not have known what you were getting into, but that doesn’t mean you can ignore the responsibility you have.
Invalidate your children’s emotions.
Your children have their own feelings, and you should never tell them that what they are feeling is wrong. If they are sad, they are sad, period. That’s just the way it is.
Use fear against your children to make them do what you want.
You may need to use fear from time to time, but using it as a way to get what you want day in and day out will only make your kids hate you. They want to be close to you, they don’t want to be afraid of you. You are their parent, not a janitor.
