When it comes to raising your children the “right way,” things can get a little confusing. You may think you’re doing everything right, but there are always things you’re not doing right.
You may think you are taking care of your child on all levels, but are you paying special attention to their self-esteem and overall confidence? How does your child behave as a person? Does he or she shut down and refuse to put himself or herself forward?
The more confident and happy your children are in their own skin, the more willing they will be to go out into the world and do things. They will step out of their comfort zone, find things they like to do, and connect with others on different levels. That being said, far too often we make mistakes that instead of building our children up, destroy them.
Below I will go over some of the most common mistakes we tend to make as parents that can, and usually do, have a direct impact on our children and how they move forward in life. Their self-esteem is important and if it is low, it is crucial to help them rebuild it. The higher it is, the stronger your child will be.
9 mistakes that could destroy your children’s self-esteem:
Sheltering them from their own emotions.
The more we hide the things they feel from our children, the worse they become. They need to be able to accept and process all the things they feel, whether they are good or bad. They can’t repress them forever.
Cater to their every whim.
Your children are still human beings, and once they’re out in the real world, you won’t be there to satisfy them. They can’t expect others to do for them what you have done. If you are pampering them, they won’t know how to function properly when they are on their own.
Instead of teaching them, you simply punish them.
Punishments are important sometimes, but they have no power if they don’t also contain a lesson. Forcing someone down while not teaching them why is a waste of time and only cuts them down for no reason. When they do something wrong, they need to understand that it was wrong or they won’t change.
Don’t let them make their own mistakes.
We all make mistakes, and you can’t stop your children from making theirs. They have to make mistakes and figure out how to deal with them. We live and learn, that’s life.
Allow them to play the victim.
In this world, we are not victims unless we allow ourselves to be. If you give your child this victim mentality and allow them to keep it, they will blame everyone else for their own problems. Sure, people can be cruel, but playing the victim doesn’t help anyone.
Expecting them to be perfect.
There is no such thing as perfection, so we should never expect it of those in our lives. Our children will make mistakes and live their own lives. We should not make them feel bad for being themselves.
Do not hold them responsible for their actions.
Our actions belong to us and not to anyone else. If we make a mistake, we are the ones who must be responsible for it. You can’t take the hit for everything your offspring does until the end of time. At some point, they are going to have to become responsible adults.
Refuse to spend enough time with them.
Your children need to spend time with you, they need to learn from you and grow with you by their side. You can’t just shut down and expect them to always do well. It doesn’t work that way.
Don’t allow them to open up to you.
Your children need to be able to come to you for advice. If they can’t talk to you, who will they talk to? As a mother or father, you need to be there for them in every way possible.
